Tale of Two Laptops

Staying Useful

I have two laptops. One I bought when I went back to college in 2011. Let's call the first one "Levie" She used to do whatever I wanted, zipping from page to page, pulling up documents, pictures--funny videos--anything I wanted.  She was my tool, almost a friend, getting things done, keeping me connected with my husband out of state.  I used her every day.

Then, I got that first warning notice.  It shocked me-the first NO! my electronic friend had ever thrown up to me.  I dismissed it, clicked the "x" in the corner.  This single hiccup in our relationship went on for a year or so.  

Then came the slowdown.

I booted Levie up--she looked at me blankly.  As if rising from a deep sleep she shifted sluggishly from screen to screen--like she was rolling around in bed trying to fight off the covers.

It got worse from there.  She stared at me longer and longer when I turned her on.  I had to wait for each command to be absorbed by her digital brain before any response.  Sometimes she shut down the cursor so I couldn't ask her to do anything.  It soon became clear that our relationship was getting to be impossible.  She wouldn't respond--she had far too much in her digital soul, too much going on in that fragile CPU to do anything I asked anymore.   

Shopping for a replacement for Levie--I was gunshy.  I wanted a computer I could rely on but didn't have the same money I had when I bought Levie.  So I went for a refurbished laptop.  

His case was dented and he weighed a little more than I liked, but inside he was all brand new.  Dell was eager to show me all that he could do. Eager to please he jumped to each command.  I was in Love!

So what does this tale of two computers have to do with a blog on obedience?

It might seem simplistic, but to God--our obedience, affects our usefulness to God.  

God's joy is to use us to go about His business.  He told us in Ephesians 2:10 

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.  

He loves obedience to His commands more than extravagant gifts or showy demonstrations.  He wants a people he can use--who listen to His heart.  People who take Him seriously to give up what they want to do, or think they should do, and DO WHAT HE SAYS.

1 Samuel 15:22 New International Version (NIV)

22 But Samuel replied:

“Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices
    as much as in obeying the Lord?
To obey is better than sacrifice,
    and to heed is better than the fat of rams.

In later posts, I want to break down how that happens, but if your response to His knock on your heart has been sluggish or if you are full of other activities in your heart, you might want to get a rebuild.  God is waiting to give you an upgrade.  He can take a sluggish heart and make it spin with joy again.  I might even give Levie an upgrade!

Starting the Journey-Standing in the Mud

In the Middle of the Mess

Life is messy.  In case you didn't
notice this before--wait a few days and the mess will find you. 
Sometimes the mess you find yourself in is from a quick wrong step--you lose your balance and poof!  you are stuck in the mud.

But the more subtle way that mess can find you is that as you are standing on solid ground, -- a tiny bit of water seeps up.You don't even notice as you are looking up at the beauty all around you.  You can't feel it at first.  But the longer you stay there, the more water trickles in, surrounding your feet and creating a deep, deep mud. Sticky mud. Yucky mud. Mud that you suddenly realize is holding you fast.  Mud that demands you really struggle to free yourself.

I find myself stuck in this kind of subtle mud.  I've had a subtle sin that has crept up in my life--holding me fast.  It has kept me from growing in my faith.  It has hurt my family.  It has hurt me.
The subtle trickle that leaked into my soul is bitterness.  Disappointment, misunderstanding, endless rehearsals of how I think things should be--going so far back as I can remember.  

This bitter mud is deep and has been paralyzing.  I would die here, alone in a bitter woods, were it not for two sisters who took the time with me to find my feet in the muck, and to encourage me to start marching. 

I am not out yet but I can see the tops of my toes for the first time in a long time.   I will start the struggle.   


Psa 40:2   He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.